Ok. I am not a huge sports fan, which is to say that I don’t know a lot about football. My thinking and interests tend to be more…shall we say…logic based. I don’t understand the appeal of the game, I don’t understand the idolizing of players who, more often than not, are undeserving of such adulation and hero worship. I don’t understand the fanaticism and I sure as fuck don’t understand the ridiculous salaries. That said, this “crisis” about the balls is, in the context of a game and a mindset that is utterly mystifying to me, a real riddle wrapped in an enigma…
12.5 to 13.5 psi
That is the proscribed pressure for league regulation footballs. Apparently 11 out the 12 balls belonging to the New England Patriots were found to be 2 pounds under that parameter and that deviation from the regulation has fueled allegations of cheating.
OK, so here I find myself even more confused. Why is this a problem? To be more specific; why does anyone care what the inflation psi of the balls is? I understand that a ball that is slightly under-inflated is easier to grip and easier to throw. To that I say, great! Seems like better and longer throwing and a ball that is easier to catch would make for a better game. So why not tell the NFL that monitoring the psi of the balls is their responsibility if it matters so much or better yet, forget all of that nonsense and just tell both of the quarterbacks to inflate the balls to whatever psi that pleases them and play the fucking game. Cause here is the thing: at some point in this “soft ball” controversy it all becomes moot. Eventually, at some point in all of this ball “softening” the ball changes from being an actual football and slowly becomes a dog toy. So unless you are signing Golden Retrievers and Border Collies into the league (which now that I think about it, might actually make me a fan…) it is really just a question of a pound or two…
Or better yet; just toss the damn footballs into the nearest dumpster and use a Frisbee instead. Now there is a dog toy worth chasing and Bill Belichick can’t alter it.
OK, I think we’re done here…Problem solved. Pass the nachos. Are the burgers done yet?